The lovers as feelings in love and relationships – Upright and Reversed

Introduction

The Lovers card in Tarot often comes up in readings involving relationships and feelings of love. As a spiritual blogger who has explored the meaning of this card extensively, I’m often asked what it signifies when it shows up upright versus reversed in a spread.

In this post, I’ll share my firsthand experiences with The Lovers over the years, as well as the deeper spiritual significance I’ve uncovered through study and practice. My aim is to provide clarity on the core themes of harmony, choice, and self-awareness embodied in this Major Arcana card.

Upright Meaning – The Beauty of Connection

When The Lovers appears upright in a reading related to relationships, it’s a positive omen symbolizing beauty, love, and connection. I’ve drawn this card for myself and clients when they’re entering or already in a loving partnership marked by strong bonds and mutual understanding.

On a spiritual level, the upright Lovers reflects the harmony of coming together – two becoming one while still retaining a sense of self. It’s a card about recognizing our soulmates and reveling in the pleasures of intimacy with someone who “just gets us.

In my own journey with Tarot, I’ve seen how an upright Lovers often heralds new relationships founded on:

• Powerful attraction and passion
• Seeing ourselves reflected in the other
• Shared values, dreams, hopes
• Appreciation for each other’s quirks and differences

When we draw this card about an existing relationship, it reminds us to nurture the flames of romance and not lose sight of what brought us together. It’s a nudge from the Universe to recreate those magical feelings of falling in love.

Keywords for Upright Lovers:

• Harmony
• Connection
• Understanding
• Passion
• Pleasure
• Attraction
• Balance

Reversed Meaning – Loss of Balance

Now the picture changes significantly when we see a Reversed Lovers in a love reading. Where the upright reflects the beauty of unions, the reversed suggests relationships falling out of balance and harmony.

In my practice, I’ve seen this card come up when people are struggling with:

• Controlling partners or behavior
• Compromising values/beliefs to “keep the peace”
• Confusion about what we truly want
• Disconnection from our core selves
• Infidelity, jealousy, lack of trust
• Abuse (emotional, verbal, physical)

It’s almost like the reversed Lovers appears as a warning – pay attention! Your relationship is veering into dangerous waters. The spiritual lesson here is about maintaining our sense of self in intimacy. It reminds us not to abandon our truths while merging with another.

I’ve learned the hard way from my own past connections that the reversed Lovers urges us to:

• Speak up about what we need
• Establish/reinforce boundaries
• Have courageous conversations
• Get support if things are unhealthy/toxic

In a love reading, this card is an invitation to bravely examine whether partnerships still nourish or deplete us. And if needed, take steps to restore balance and alignment with our highest selves.

Keywords for Reversed Lovers:

• Disharmony
• Disconnection
• Misalignment with self/values
• Confusion
• Control/manipulation
• Infidelity
• Loss of trust
• Toxic relating

The Lovers in Action – An Example Reading

To better demonstrate the nuances of this card in a relationship context, let me share a real example from my Tarot practice. I’ll relay the story of a client named Sandra who got the Lovers (reversed) in a 3-card reading about her struggling marriage.

The Spread:

• Card 1 – The present energies impacting her relationship
• Card 2 – Hidden influences Sandra may be unaware of
• Card 3 – Advice from the Tarot on how to proceed

The Cards:

• Four of Wands (reversed) – Upheaval, instability, struggling with change
• The Lovers (reversed) – Disharmony, misalignment, confusion
• Two of Swords – Need for introspection/gaining clarity before deciding

The Reading:

Sandra came to me distraught about her husband suddenly becoming cold, critical and disconnected after years of a loving partnership. The first card reflected this destabilizing shift, depicting the loss of harmony once central to their bond.

With the reversed Lovers, I sensed Sandra compromising her values and needs to keep confrontations at bay. The card revealed her struggling with increasing controlling behaviors from her partner. She felt confused about how to get back to center.

The Two of Swords mirrored this lack of inner clarity on why things had gone so off-kilter. And pointed to Sandra needing time and space to tap into her inner wisdom before making any big decisions about this relationship.

The Outcome:

In exploring this reading together, Sandra realized she had to stop minimizing red flags that signaled deeper issues. We discussed speaking openly to her husband from a place of love – while establishing boundaries around what she would/would not tolerate moving forward.

The reversed Lovers was a spiritual wake-up call for Sandra to honor – and fight for – her truth. And let that guide her next steps, whether towards reconciliation or releasing this relationship with compassion.

Parting Thoughts

In Tarot readings that involve romantic partnerships or other bonds, The Lovers is a powerful card reflecting either harmony or disharmony between two entities coming together as one. Upright it speaks of pleasure, connection, and mutual understanding. While reversed it warns that a relationship is falling out of balance and alignment with one’s highest self.

I hope by sharing my first-hand experiences with this card and illustrating its nuances through an actual client reading, others can better understand The Lover’s spiritual messages. Whether about new love, long-term relationships, or even business partnerships.

The core invitation with this card is to bravely examine our connections – and walk away from those no longer nourishing – so we can call in partners who cherish all that we are. Ones who don’t require us to sacrifice our light to sustain the relationship.

When The Lovers appears in a reading – upright or reversed – recognize it as an opportunity to reflect on alignment, harmony and truth in the connections that influence our walk through this life.