Surrender Stage And Symptoms In The Twin Flame Journey
Twin Flame Surrender Stage And Symptoms
The twin flame surrender stage is one of those blissful and smooth periods. That is if you resist the urge to fight against it.
You earn this respite from doing all the inner work and overcoming the relationship turmoil you encounter.
You deserve the time to pamper yourself and restore your energy. This time with your partner is restorative.
It is a break in the weather, so to speak, allowing you to take care of yourself by ‘giving birth’ to that very authentic version of you.
You can feel that you are no longer under the strain of your own ego or even outdated patterns and behaviors.
You are allocated space to prepare for the unconditional love due to flood your life.
The realization that this is the next phase of the twin flame journey is exciting.
You surrender, not because it’s over but because it is going to continue in the most magnificent way.
You put the emotional confusion and baggage out with the trash, and now you are free to be as beautiful within your soul as you always knew was possible.
Your base and heart chakras have already been tuned, and you are free to prepare yourself for the process of receiving the first big frequency of love.
Twin Flames Have No Choice But To Surrender
Separated twin flames find that to continue on their journey towards union at a particular point; they have no choice but to surrender.
They can see it is time to stop fighting against the negative flow propelling them on.
Individual flames know instinctively that they must take the brunt of truth and be cool with it.
To be in a twin flame union you must be at a high level of human and spiritual understanding of your soul’s development and the reasons why you are here, now!
Twin flames hold in their hearts and souls the cosmic energy to transmute, transform, and transport souls to safety when called to do so.
Surrender to the process at this stage is so delicious and comfortable that you can not help but fall into it like a freshly made bed.
And why not? You have achieved so much with the inner work you worked so hard to complete that you deserve 5-star treatment as your reward.
And the biggest reason to accept the surrender to it all is that there is no other way to continue.
You need to rest, and you must recuperate; being refreshed and full of energy is vital for what is ahead.
What Are The 3 Main Signs of The Twin Flame Surrender Stage
You Feel Done
You know you have reached a point of no return, and you understand there is no going backward into playing out old emotions and behaviors.
If you have been obsessing over your twin flame union, you start to chill and just allow it.
You Feel Lighter In Your Self
You no longer feel stressed about your twin flame union.
Instead, there is a release of pressure because you know you have progressed out of the war zone.
This welcome change of pace takes the weight off your shoulders and allows you to relax.
Your Visions Are Clear, And Your Emotions Are Calm
You can see the way forward, like the light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible.
This gives you great comfort on your journey and gives you hope when you feel like giving up.
When we can see our destination no matter how far off in the distance, it provides a tangible goal within reach.
Twin flame surrender stage
It seems very profound that you must allow yourself to be ready for something you have no control over.
It is wise to be prepared for the gift of time to regroup that you are about to receive.
The Universe miraculously provides this space for you, there is no effort required for allowing this function to occur.
Your twin flame will feel the change since you are both tuned into the same energy frequency that vibrates through both of your hearts.
What Are The 3 Main Twin Flame Surrender Symptoms
Inner Calm
The first twin flame surrender symptom you may notice is the feeling you have of inner calm.
It sticks out like a sore toe because you are not used to feeling so relaxed and chilled out.
The Peace May Feel Weird
You will find yourself questioning your twin flame about this feeling.
It is easy to think that maybe what you feel is them giving up, as you are used to the chaotic dynamic that existed between you.
This relates to twin flames who are apart. We experience this feeling of peace together, and it is a surprising feeling when you have been through so much together.
You Nest
Your instinct is to nest. You become pregnant with love, this makes you want to cook, organize your home, and groom yourself.
All these symptoms are natural when it comes to setting up a family unit, and twin flames are no different.
We have been planting food and flowers, recreating new energy within our home, and space for us to grow.
How Does A Twin Flame Chaser Surrender
It is the chaser who needs to surrender first, you are not admitting defeat, nor are you going to lose your twin flame.
If you are in the twin flame chaser, surrender comes to you when you feel your twin flame runner slow their speed.
The chaser needs to know the power lies here with them. It is such a catch22 situation because one activates the other.
In order for the chaser to surrender they need to pull back on the chase and let the runner catch their breath.
We are so glad that we did this, it takes effort within your relationship, but we are happier than ever for it.
It makes sense that the runner will stop running if they are no longer being chased.
If you are the chaser it is because you somehow spooked your twin into taking off and running away.
This can be physical or emotional. For us, it is emotional when one of us is emotionally pulled away from the other if we felt chased.
If the chaser genuinely loves the runner they will stop the torment of the chasing.
The chilled vibe the runner feels from the chaser after they pull back makes all the difference in how long the surrender process takes to initiate and complete.
This change of energy gives the runner a chance to clear their head and come around to the idea of your infinite twin flame union.
Most runners say that it is at this point they feel surrendering is a natural and obvious next step for them.
How To Surrender To The Twin Flame Connection
Surrendering is the easiest thing to do. We do it without even thinking now. We go to each other and make it right as quickly as we can.
You just have to see that running and chasing is going nowhere and will continue on and on if you let fear get away from you.
Letting go of the fear of rejection, loss, and or loneliness, allows you to let go of the perceived notion that you must chase or run.
Fear feeds chaos and negative thoughts which turn into bad decisions and mismanaged interactions with your twin flame.
The Twin Flame Surrender Stage Benefits
1.) You discovered that you can and have accepted the means to connect with your twin flame energetically, astrally, and even learn to use the telepathic connection between you. We can be in different rooms of our home and still know the other’s thoughts and timing regarding our physical life together.
2.) You understand now that you react without saying anything and that your twin flame will do the same. This unspoken part of our relationship is so pure. We always know what we did and how they feel; no words are needed. We just smile at each other and often have big loving hugs.
2.) No one twin is in control of the link and relationship, but surrendering distributes the power more equally between you. Power struggles between couples are real, and the surrender helps elimanate confusion and fights.
3.) Before the surrender, you felt that you were emotionally messed up and hurt.
But still, you wanted to repeat these same self-sabotaging actions as before.
4.) The peace of mind you gain with surrender is priceless and the bliss is delicious. And we are sure our neighbors prefer us making love and not war.
5.) You are not obsessed anymore with your twin relationship but much more active and engaged in your life together.
6.) You have found your strength again and learned that negativity only pops up from your own weaknesses and ego. We laugh now when we see either of us display old behavior. Maybe you can too.
Yes, he is no longer reacting with fear to my need to deal with not knowing who he is by living my life instead of waiting. Waiting for a lot of Unknowns. Now he just waits for me to figure it out. It doesn’t matter what we’re going through because we will both be there no matter what. It’s difficult to explain other than it is just calmer and I am feeling freer to explore now. I finally had to take that for myself and not feel responsible for how he felt about it. I can’t know unless I let myself go through the process and I was stopping myself because I could feel he didn’t like it. Now that I’m free to explore, I’m free to find out each time that I don’t want to do anything that would take me away from us, if that makes sense. This is still a work in progress and I’m still figuting it out.
Thank you. I have found this site to be so helpful. Are there any counseling services available for me to get further insights into my particular situation?
I just surrendered someone I “thought” was my TF of 31 year’s
I met someone in 2019, assuming it was another karmic partner. I hadn’t dated for 11 years. But I couldn’t resist his energy. He was also 13 year’s younger than myself. I don’t believe in dating anyone 5 year’s younger than myself & here I was fighting this energetic connection to this younger man like crazy. It took him a few months to get me to go out with him, to finally meet him in person.
We met, thing’s were crazy with us. I told him I’d been waiting for someone for 29 year’s point, I knowit bothered him. I told him i was 100% sure this other person was my TF & I’d leave anyone for him if he ever came back to me again. I blamed myself for losing him in the first place, I wasn’t going to allow it to happen twice. Meeting this guy felt like I was repeating history because I was certain my TF & I were about to reunite when this guy pops up.
This put a third person in between our budding relationship who wasn’t physically there or physically available.
I continued to allow myself to feel the energy of this new guy I was only dating. We had an instant connection that I hadn’t
experienced with anyone for many many year’s, it reminded me of what I felt for my first TF. The connection had it’s differences compared to the person who I thought was my TF. Like hearing him in my mind when I allow it, I never experienced that before. I feel like he’s listening to my every thought, which irritates me. I feel like I have no privacy. I dream about him all the time when I didn’t dream about my first TF hardly at all until recently.
I started thinking for the first time that maybe I was wrong, that maybe this karmic partner was really my TF. I’d say it to myself then just as quickly dismiss it. I’d discuss it with my sister’s a lot. The energy only grew stronger as our time together grew.
I healed many thing’s in my body during that time of my life, that they tell people are near impossible to heal. That includes hypothyroidism. Diabetes 2, metabolic syndrome, stage 3 fatty liver disease & the aggressive RA I had is now not as aggressive. I was also in & out of a wheelchair, walking with a cane occasionally, in 24-7 physical pain.
I suddenly had energy I didn’t have in year’s, .y pain levels went down. My drs released me to physical therapy & I took off on a local trail fast walking after a month of physical therapy. I was done being indoors after isolating for many year’s, I wanted to be surrounded with nature. I ended up taking off over 100lbs.
At first every step was painful.
I remember feeling I wanted to meet this person who I had so much energy with as a better version of myself than I was. More in shape.
When I was younger I used to wake up two hours early just to make sure I looked perfect.
Because of being so physically ill for so many year’s, I can honestly say I no longer cared about my appearance as much, I was resigned to living the rest of my life being single. Then suddenly I meet this guy out of the blue who’s extremely persistent, very kind & he was bringing thing’s out in me I hadn’t allowed myself to feel for year’s. Including making myself as sexy as I could for him. I normally didn’t care what men thought, they could take it or leave it. I wanted this new guy to see exactly how beautiful I was, how I saw myself under all the weight I’d gained to protect myself from love. I couldn’t believe he’d chosen me, I was so out of shape, I was frumpy. Lol. That’s the truth.
It was wonderful when we were together. But being apart was driving me nuts. And I’m NOT normally like that in relationships. I really try to make sure the other person has their space. He began giving me too much space. That upset me. I was feeling too clingy, that upset me. I couldn’t have him knowing that. So I continued to work out like a mad woman. Every time he saw me, I was smaller. When we took three months off, I came back to him an entirely different person than he’d met in February from August. Idk what he thought about that… But it was fun showing him I felt sexy, I did it all for him. He never knew.
I assumed a lot about him, I’m sure he did with me as well. That he was just a player, probably seeing other women too, playing the exact same game with them as he was with me. But then we’d get together & the energy was always there, it was undeniable. I just wanted more & he refused me. I started believing he was married. For all I know he was, he is now… How do we get passed that? I’m the type that believes in vows. They’re sacred.
I was trying to deny what I was feeling.
I believe he was too.
You can’t date someone the way he was dating me & have it work. I think the term is popcorn dating?
I began feeling like I was begging him for mere scraps. I started telling myself it was because of my age. Then that he deserved someone younger. I told myself every excuse I could why it wasn’t working.
Hearing him in my mind, I thought I was losing my mind. I excused it. Still do to be quite honest. I’ve experienced so much recently it’d blow anyone’s mind. It’s got me feeling crazy.
I ended up becoming the runner. I’ve been running from him since we separated in November 2019. FAR from him.
I cut our energetic cords so many times I can’t even count. I even bound him from me. I wanted ALL thoughts of him GONE! Nothing worked. Get this, the first time I was going to bind him from me forever, I felt so much sadness from it, I was in tears & stopped what I was doing. I felt he was interrupting my connection with my first TF. I wanted him out of my head. But not gone forever from me. That was too painful.
This was all I needed was more confusion with the person I thought was my real TF.
So I spent the next year attempting to heal that & only got ignored some more by my first TF.
I ran hundreds of miles from this other person I assumed was a karmic partner. I felt I’d learned all I was meant to with him. I was wrong.
I was grateful for our relationship, but I wanted to focus on healing my first TF relationship. Heal it I did, to the point I no longer see him that way.
Because of the way my second TF chose to date me every two weeks or more. I felt it was best to move on from his game’s. I felt he was proving to me each time we were together that I wasn’t worth taking in public or seeing on a regular basis.
I began feeling used by him, that I was just another face.
We separated twice. The second time I came back to him I was ready to let go of this person I’d been assuming was my twin flame for 29 year’s just to see if what I was feeling was real. I even told him I felt ready to give up my TF for him. He seemed happy, but nothing changed.
It was so good at first. But he began playing the same games the second time we were together.
It lasted from August to November & we both walked away from each other without a word.
Now nearly two years later, I’ve went through absolute hell since. Even ended up homeless. But that worked perfectly because I didn’t want to be in the same town as him, I didn’t want to be living where I was either.
I began thinking he was stalking me. This really upset me. For many reasons. I felt he liked watching me better than being with me physically. So I ran further from him.
I’ve been on a healing journey. It was painful, but during my journey I began letting go of constructs, one being that this other person from now 31 years ago was my real TF.
I really went through some anger with my 31 yr TF, trying to release him. Anger at myself for not being able to completely.
I actually did reach a type of surrender a week or two ago. It felt GREAT, finally I could be okay with him living his life & me living mine. I still believed if we were TF’s, we’d end up together in the end though. But I was now perfectly fine with waiting.
I used Quora a lot. I got to the point I was answering questions. I just knew thing’s. Even though I wasn’t in union.
I assumed we were getting close again to union or contact. I was correct, but it wasn’t my 31 year TF who contacted me, it was this long lost guy from 2019 that I really did my best not to think about & he was upset about one of my Quora posts & ripped me hard for it.
Since this happened a week ago I’ve received so many spiritual downloads. His voice was really strong for a time until I told him to leave me alone because I’ve been really upset at what he wrote me publicly & after reading it, I felt he was putting all the blame onto me for us ending & that I wasn’t the beautiful person he thought I was. That hurt me to my core. Still does. Did he not know me, ever? 😥
Him saying what he said woke me right up though. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve experienced this last week since admitting to myself that he IS NOT my karmic partner but my actual Twin Flame.
I would’ve let him go in this lifetime. I’ve gotten great at letting people go, great at waiting my entire life away for someone who’s unavailable to become available. Great at being ignored & accepting scraps.
I feel like he wanted me to wake up the entire time to what I was allowing in my life. I felt he did thing’s in our relationship that I allowed to happen that stole my power, took my energy down to force me to see what I was allowing in relationships. I wonder now if it was to trigger the release of a 31 year construct. It felt like a divorce letting my first TF go, until I surrendered, then I was at complete peace with it ALL.
Posting about it on Quora, just to be responded to by my REAL Twin Flame, that was fun.
Yeah….. Talk about a slap in the face to wake me up! At first it confused me, I assumed it was my 1st Twin Flame, but he doesn’t do social media at all. Then it dawned on me who it was. My sister’s & I began reading his profile. He showed up on Quora in his feminine version, so that confused me too because here’s this guy pretending to be a woman. But that was yet another slap in my face, it instantly struck me that I was the masculine version in our relationship & he was pointing that out… So he chose to come at me in all his feminine glory. 🤣
I’ll be honest, I thought he was gay when I first met him over an app I used to sell things on. That’s how we met. I sold jewelry on this site, occasionally bought thing’s. I contacted him twice to buy things. I was very professional, I have to be, I can’t be hitting on potential clients. I can’t remember if his profile had a picture, mine did. I bought something from him & made my daughter pick it up, told him I might want the other item later. Later I contacted him for it, he’d sold it, but then began hitting on me. I’d had this happen before, but this time it felt different. I never allowed men to have my personal phone number because I despised being bothered by men, hit on by them, but there I was giving him my number & feeling excited about it. He had feminine energy. Which I find extremely sexy in a man. A man who can embrace that part of himself… Just take a look at Prince, the singer, for example. That guy was embracing his ☯️ Anytime I’ve ever witnessed a man do this, it’s always been extremely sexy to me.
There was something about him when we met online that pushed me to meet him physically, like we were meant to meet, no matter how much I told myself otherwise. He was very forward with me too. I missed just talking to him when we weren’t talking.
I had been asked out many times in the past. None of them appealed to me. I’ve ALWAYS been about what I sense from people, the energy has to be there or I won’t explore it at all. I just hadn’t felt that energy for many year’s. One guy that asked me out was younger than me too, he was someone my daughter brought over as a date, he ended up hitting on me. I blocked him.
So me being single 11 years was on purpose. I didn’t want to be with anyone unless I felt something. I was done with games.
After it was all said & done I felt that was all he did was play games with me. Now I’m looking back on all of it with compassion & understanding, that is until I continue to read what he wrote me on Quora. I copied & pasted it before I deleted my entire post. I didn’t feel that should be on one of my post’s that I keep very uplifting so I can assist other’s on their journeys. I enjoy being there for people. Then I get torn apart by him publicly online, telling me my entire story is fake. I guess he’s right in someway, it was a story I was hanging onto for 31 year’s. I really hurt myself & other’s hanging onto that version of my reality. A reality I relived over & over. I know now why I did it. But couldn’t he have come to me in a less public way to wake me up to who he really is to me? Couldn’t he have manned up & confronted me? Maybe thats my masculinity talking… I DO confront people & things in my life if I’m confused about them. He had his opportunity repeatedly to open up to me about his real feelings & never did.
I tried to get him to, he started to in the end, but by then it was too late, I didn’t believe him anymore. He’d just showed jealousy. If you do that to me, I’ll walk. I don’t play jealous game’s. I still refuse to do that. It’s low vibrational. If I find myself feeling that way in a relationship, I exit it… Because I was cheated on a lot… I never gave the person who cheated on me jealousy either. By all means if you’re not happy in my life, there’s the door, don’t expect anything from me though after I’m gone.
I just don’t understand why we couldn’t have communicated before suffering all I did, all he did. I’m assuming him as well. Everyone I know just went through the absolute worse year of their live’s, most people on the earth did & believe me, for myself I really struggled emotionally.. I wanted to die.
I know I had to go through everything I did for a reason. To get to where I am today. I see it all very very clearly. But a person always wishes they could’ve done it the easy way.
Now how do I let this letter he wrote to me go? I keep feeling on & off surrender to him. Then I allow myself to get stuck in the negative letter he wrote me. It was bad.
Stating I appeared to be dressing too sexy on my instagram. And he’d also been following my Google pix, thanked me for my daily up to date version of my life. Insinuated that I was a cheater.. Told me he’d NEVER date me again, said it repeatedly. Which is fine, we’ve been there done that & just dating didn’t work for either of us!
So I’m confused. I hear this voice in my head telling me everything about him & us working out our confusion from that time in our live’s, yet I question if I’m not just losing my absolute mind at this point!
I thought I knew everything there was to know about the TF journey. Now my minds been blown wide open. I’ve seen things I don’t understand. I think I may’ve died too & came back.
I experienced our Phoenix’s rising, joining as one. I was shown different scenarios of people I could choose to be with over him, in each scenario I always came back to him every time. I’ve healed things in those relationships, I was always meant to heal. I had the choice to choose over him. A few of them are no longer of this Earth physically. I nearly left him for one of them but chose him in the end. I felt like I was on the otherside with the highest version of my Twin Flame assisting me with all the love, patience & understanding I’d always longed to have in every relationship I ever got into, but never did.
I’ve always felt men were too clingy to me. Which was why I couldn’t understand why this guy wasn’t. It really made me question him. It kept us going for a longer period too. In the past I’d break it off with people before they had a chance to get to know me & vice versa. I was closed off to receiving love in my life from a man.
Which was why my 31 year fantasy TF worked so perfectly for me for so long. I actually began thinking about my first TF & I being physically together in the last year & a half & realized I don’t know this person at all anymore from us being teenage kid’s. All he’d become was a version of one of the happiest moments in my entire life before everything went extremely dark. I ended up in a very abusive marriage. Funny thing is, I see my role in that as well. It’s funny how you see everything for what it is after you acknowledge your real TF, allow yourself to surrender & stay in that surrender how beautiful & peaceful everything feels
So I drove hours to get to where he resides a few day’s ago. Thinking the only thing left is physical union. I felt drawn to him in this way.
Yet I’m now telling myself it’s not real. That I’m losing my mind. That I’d be a stalker if I hunted him down, even though he did the same to me.
I shut down my Quora because of this, my Facebook, even my emails for a time. I didn’t like the thought of him watching my every move online… How far has his stalking went? It feels like it got pretty bad. I feel extremely creeped out by it if I put too much thought into it, yet I also feel like it’s all funny, unbelievably hilarious! Here I was keeping my eye on my 31 year TF, mostly writing him, I’d sent him books too. But that was it. Him & I’d had a lot of on & off contact over the year’s, always with me chasing him down to do it. He’s from another state than myself. It’s not like I was driving to where he lived watching his every move. I question if that’s what the man I now see as my TF was doing to me, it irritates me. I feel like he has some major trust issues if he’s going that far. I refuse to be held in smallness like that or allow a man that kind of power or control over my life if I have to shut my phone completely off to stay off his radar, I will.
That he had to go through the lengths he did just to check up on me, has me wondering if this entire Twin Flame thing is just some extremely unhealthy people with a lot of issues & we just accept each other’s weirdness & craziness so we can fully heal our own inner crazy… This journey makes you feel nuts.
I understand wanting to know if a person’s okay, feeling like you have to be in their life to get them to see their own inner Light. I did that for years with the last guy who I assumed was my TF, he assisted me as well. So what make’s this any different? I learned a lot of beautiful lessons with my first TF I wouldn’t change for anything or anyone. He is someone I’ll always love, but I no longer see him as a person I’d get into a relationship with. I wonder if my current TF feels that about me now after what he wrote to me. So I feel like I’m preparing to let him go in some ways. Is it because he’s trying to let me go?
I decided after driving all the way here that I feel like a fool again, wanting so desperately to believe in this intense love but also beginning to see it as unhealthy too.
I know we need to hold each other in a higher version of ourselves.
I’m willing to do that. But I don’t feel many people EVER did it for me my entire lifetime, not without feeling I was forcing people to get to know the real me, I don’t want to force myself on anyone. I was in a few really great relationship in my mid to late 20s & felt so at home in those relationships, just to have one cheat on me & the other always made me feel like I wasn’t enough by thing’s he said, people don’t seem to grasp energy exchanges in relationships, I tried to get my second Twin Flame to read or listentothe Celestine prophesies so he’d grasp how I view energy & energy exchanges, but he showed zero interest in things that fascinated me, that were important to me in a healthy relationship. He certainly didn’t do thing’s with me or things I asked of him in the first or second time we were together. So what makes this time different? Besides everything I’ve been through to heal, has he healed too… I don’t want another man hurting me when all I see are red flags everywhere.
I was a DV advocate for many year’s in my spare time. It’s difficult not to look at all this from that perspective especially when I’m trying to keep myself safe from ever having to experience what I did in my first marriage.
I understand I’ve recreated that scenario over & over in my karmic cycle. I’m ready to let it go now but him & I need to talk for that to happen. I need to understand things he was going through, not just in my mind, but in person.
How do I get him to understand what he’s doing IS chasing me away. I want so badly to surrender, I have in many ways, but then I go right back in to this version because of his actions & my own inner fears.
I’m probably answering my own questions here.
No I’m not, am I just supposed to believe we’ll magically magnetize each other? It certainly never happened in my 31 year journey. I just knew when he needed me, so I’d track him down when I felt he needed me & we’d share our live’s together again.
I’m just having a difficult
time letting go of what he wrote to me go & all his stalking. If there’s magic in this journey, then bring us together.
I feel like the ONLY way to resolve thing’s between us is talking physically. Or I may continue to run. The fear of being abused is more scary & real to me than dreaming up some TF fantasy where I’ll live happily ever after.
So that construct IS getting in my/our way of unification.
I know it’ll heal when its meant to, many things have this last week. But I’m hear now, where he resides & idk when I’m coming back. Could be several months. I don’t plan to ever go to his home or find out if he still lives in the same place. I’m definitely NOT chasing him. I spent 31 years being the chaser. Yes it feels great to finally be chased but as I said before, he needs to tone it down A LOT or he’s going to lose me. He’s lucky I didn’t call law enforcement on him. He had me that freaked out this entire last year. He confirmed his stalking on my Quora. That had to be fun for people to read lol. Twin Flame’s stalking each other on Quora. I never had to worry about my tf of 31 years getting on my Quora posts & leaving a negative comment. I was in my comfort zone, completely enveloped in my 31 year fantasy, just to have someone I dated two years ago come & burst my fantasy bubble wide open.
Although I appreciate someone coming along to burst that bubble, I still want to burst his!!!!
I’m mad as a hornet…
Apparently I’m not allowed to rip him the way he did me & it’s all I want to do!!!!
Idk if I can get passed this otherwise. But I’m not going to do it publicly like he did me. At least I have enough respect not to do that. That is unless he’s reading my Google play pics I created just for his “stalking self” real life reality show recently in my personal Google photos & videos.
I really hope he feels nuts about now…. Funny part is, when we met I was watching that stalking series on Netflix, I think it’s called “The One or just One” Anyhow I was suddenly hyper paranoid about everything & everyone around me after watching that, then he come’s into my life.
BTW I’m fairly certain my ex abuser still stalks me, so I began seeing & realizing things I never did before. Like my new TF stalking me… I knew the entire time we were dating that he was stalking me too. Kinda difficult to hide… lol. Then afterwards it grew worse.
I thought he was nuts.
I have for a long time. Yet I felt this intense energy I couldn’t stop wanting to be around. I guess I was nuts too.
I learned to be okay with my 31 year separation from my first TF. I learned to be okay with whatever he’s doing in his life.
I honestly felt the same way with my second twin flame too, the entire time. I understand this journey can & will turn your entire life upside-down, you miss the person’s physical presence so deeply, you feel like you’re drowning without them.
I did with him. More than he may be aware. The one thing he could never read was my heart, because I blocked it off from him…. I know he felt me thinking about him, which I tried not to do at all. I told myself there was something wrong with me to feel so intensely for someone who treated me the way he did.
He’s also a gamer. I saw him as trying to win me like a video game. (A twin flame video game would be pretty cool, you have to admit lol.) To get me to pull my head out of my ♡$$ to notice what he was doing & I only ignored him. Until he chose to rip me online in front of my followers. Not that I had a huge following, but I did get a lot of people reading what I wrote.
So now I’m a Twin Flame that was on a 31 year journey, that’s now found out he was never my twin flame, and every synchronicity I ever had or watched for is false? Or do I look at it all as leading me to him?
Or maybe I’m crazy for accepting all of this craziness so easily…
I can see how desperate I made him. Thinking someone else was my TF, probably sent him on quite the journey himself, wondering if there was something to everything I spent three decades believing. I guess he knows now there is.
It’s all really strange.
One thing I want to make clear, I don’t nor have I ever felt like I’m in any danger. I guess if I did, I would’ve done something by now. I actually felt like he was protecting me in his own way.
I also feel like he does what he does just to be as close to me as he can in the only way he can because I haven’t been safe online or when I exercise outdoors.
That was something he wanted me to know. I’m not quite as internet savvy as I’d like to be. He pointed out that all my information was compromised because I don’t know how to protect myself.
I feel like that was one of major points to his letter to me & letting me know I was hurting him by believing this other guy was my TF.
We could never get to know each other until I let him completely go. I can honestly say I finally have done that. But I nearly walked away from this whole thing because of the way he went about it.
I’m sure he gets that… I’m sure he’s scared to death of losing me in this lifetime if I don’t get more healthy. I have still have an autoimmune disease.
I receive some pretty intense treatment that can kill me each time I do it. My brain is now having issues too. They have yet to figure out whats going on. But it’s created a lot of memory loss for me each time I get the IV therapy. And pain. Now my head hurts 24-7. They think it could be an aneurysm or another auto immune disease called cerebral something or other, they ruled out a tumor.
I know he worries about my health. About losing me to death even. He’s expressed that through my mind. He told me to quit all my meds. I have, until this week, I started one again because I’m receiving so much healing, so many downloads that I can’t sleep. Yes it’s affected my stress level because I’m exhausted, which affects my autoimmune disease. I had barely any sleep last week because of all of this. I was in the ER last week to find out what was wrong with me. First I have a nde/obe out in the desert, essentially dying right in front of my sister’s, then I begin seeing things & hearing thing’s more clearly than ever. Yeah it can make a person feel nuts & want to shut it all off, which I have, yet now I want more, it’s a conundrum… Telling myself it’s all “normal.”
When it feels far from normal breaking down every human construct I ever had. Idk if I’m meant to die at this point to cross over to a new better reality than this scary one or if I’m meant to stay here & create change. I do know one thing. I was told I’d be a God if him & I complete everything were meant to. We’d have our own world. That’s some serious responsibility. Although I LOVE ALL OF HUMANITY, I also see & feel the pain in it all, yet the absolute perfection as well. I’ve seen everything. It can freak a person out knowing what I now know. This TF journey is A LOT bigger than ANYONE realizes…
It was my Twin Flame’s higher self, the highest version of him that’s been showing me everything. Until I told him to stop. I want to know more, I do, but I’d like it to be with my new TF in person. Maybe that’s too much to ask when part of me is in total peace to all of this & the other part of me is still fighting it for all it’s worth.
Bottom line I guess I just want to see him again physically 😔 to make sure he’s experiencing all of this too. Yet I know he is…
But my emotions are extremely bipolar right now. Is this EVER going to level out? One day I’m at peace with everything, the next I’m so angry I’m pushing everything away from me.
Is everything I’m going through normal? Is everything he’s done normal? It all feels nuts.
Yet I can’t wait to be in his arms again. Yup I feel crazy for writing that. But it’s the truth.
Thanks for reading through all my confusion, I appreciate it. I think mostly I write to figure out my own journey. I feel like I can’t do it on Quora now. I really miss writing. I apologize for the mini series. Thanks again.